Wedding Secret’s I’ve Learned in My 20-Year Career

I’ve been around a REALLY long time in the wedding business and I’ve learned a few things along the way in my career.

The wedding industry can be hard-waters to navigate at times with various vendors, not knowing what to do or whom to turn, the added stress of keeping the bridal party and family happy, and just keeping it all together.

Today I’m going to share with you the most important wedding secrets I’ve learned and share them with you.

Secret #1

Whatever anyone tells you, there is NO right or wrong when it comes to weddings and how you do them.

See, each one I’ve been to is truly unique.

Sure, most have a format that’s is similar, like the ceremony followed by a happy-hour then a reception for example, but when it comes to weddings, it truly doesn’t matter how much or little you spend, it’s the celebration that counts.

Truth be told, I’ve been to small backyard BBQ weddings costing less than $5,000 that was such a joy to be at, then $140,000 weddings in Virginia that were so stressful, it made the day miserable as a vendor.

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Whatever you do, don’t spend just because a couple down the street paid a certain amount for a vendor.

Not every vendor is meant for you, in fact, there are four divisions or classifications of wedding vendors inside the wedding industry if you will.

Those classifications are budget vendors, mid-range vendors, high-end vendors, and luxury.

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Sometimes a vendor may overlap between a couple of them, but my point is simple, just because someone hired a $4,000 wedding photographer doesn’t mean you need to also.

What Couples Choose for Photography

Averages base don their wedding budgets, 2017-2020

If you’re having a $5,000 wedding, you will NOT hire a $4,000 wedding photographer and on the flip side, if you have a $50,000 wedding, you’re not going to look at $500 photographers either.

There is a right balance for everyone within the wedding industry and those classifications help keep couples in check. If you want to truly start wedding planning off right, I suggest you start here.

Secret #2

Our industry is completely emotionally driven. From the marketing to the sales, to the actual product or service, EVERYTHING you see is designed to invoke an emotional reaction to get you to book or buy.

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In fact, sales and marketing are driven by two things to get you to reach into your pocketbook and make a purchase.

  • Emotional Sales

  • Logical Sales

From the can of soda you drink to the type of car you drive, the clothes you wear to the wedding vendor you choose, it’s all driven by either emotion or logic.

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Here’s the secret.

If you book vendors using only logic chances are you will stay within your overall budget, make better choices and be more satisficed when it comes to your wedding day.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to get excited about an experience, but getting pumped up to hire someone for more than they’re worth it’s truly worth the experience, especially if you can find one equally as good for a lot less.

Think of an emotional sale is one where you react to the wedding images that you see, where a logical sale is driven more on the financial impact that product or service offers, like a sale or discount.

Both have their advantages and disadvantages when it comes to marketing, but form the customer point of view, the bride or couple, lean to the logical point of view and ask yourself if what you see makes sense and offers a good value in return.

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Secret #3

My next secret is more of a back-end one and it’s somewhat sad.

Most vendors in the wedding industry do not make it long-term in our industry.

In fact, only about half will make it to their 5th year and by 20 years, that number is a dismal 16%.

During the first 3-5 years vendors get to a reality checkpoint if you will and it usually boils down to the following:

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  • They are financially not making enough money

  • They are working too much for little pay

  • They can’t run a business

  • They get burnt out

  • They can’t deal with the drama or politics inside the industry.

Sadly, the industry is a brutal one if you live in a market where there are more vendors than wedding venues for example. It’s a hidden truth to the wedding industry as a whole, but don’t get me wrong, it’s not a bad one to be in.

I’ve seen first-hand several people make stellar careers out of what they do and what they offer.

Secret #4

The truth is your wedding day, although special and unique, isn’t the only wedding going on that day.

In fact, nearly 2.2 million couples get married each year in the United States, with a national wedding average costing about $25,000, our industry brings in a whopping $55,000,000,000 annually!

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That also means that YOU are competing for vendors, venues, and services too, which leads me to my next few points.

Booking your venue, followed by a planner, catering then your photographer is important and should be first in that order. After that, work on booking smaller vendors like the make-up artist, officiant, DJ, catering, and the like too.

On a given weekend roughly 46,000 couples will be getting married, so finding the right vendors that fit your wedding and your budget is important.

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I recommend that you start the wedding budget process a month after you get engaged and start the actual planning process 2-3 months into the engagement.

Secret #5

My next wedding secret is about pricing and why many vendors don’t put pricing on their website, and no, it’s not to annoy you, although couples do get annoyed by it, however, it’s a common sales tactic to bring you into a sales funnel and open the lines of communication most times.

Sure, vendors may tell you various reasons why they can’t, but the truth is they want you to connect with them so they can give you the price and then justify the cost of their product or service.

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A sales funnel is a method in which businesses get you to respond in some fashion, from something as simple as signing up for a newsletter to inquiring about the new car you saw on their website, funnels are a way to open communication, and ultimately the sale.

Sales funnels are a great tool to use in any business, but not showing a cost in order for you to communicate is not a recommended method, unless you just happen to have tons of cash lying around and can afford to overpay for services.

Not everyone hides pricing and some people will have a “starting from” price point, however, when you see no pricing and have to connect with a vendor about a cost, it’s going to be above average and the selling point will be the “experience” you get, not so much the valued product or service.

Many vendors over the years have given me grief about this secret, but the truth is that it’s no secret in business, just to the general public.

Secret #6

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Brides typically visit a bridal shop to purchase a wedding dress and it usually comes with a high-end price tag.

The truth about wedding dresses is that roughly 80% of them in the United States are made in China, from name brands to brands you’ve never heard of before, most are made in a region in China that specializes in making them.

I will tell you a great way to SAVE money on your wedding dress and have it custom made in the process, buy one from Esty.

Purchasing a wedding dress from Etsy is a wonderful method to skip the middle-man dress shop and work directly with an independent dressmaker, plus it’s usually the most affordable option aside from buying a used one.

Most brides don’t realize that they can connect with the manufacturers themselves and save a ton of cash in the process.

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In fact, several of the dressmakers on Etsy will sell to dress shops too, so I suggest you give that a try!

Secret #7

My next secret may surprise you, but just about everyone in the wedding industry learned from others, there is no formal education that gets you into select categories within the wedding industry.

Everyone, including us, was taught by someone else or some online service.

While I’ve had formal training in broadcasting, specifically television and radio, weddings were foreign to me 22 years ago and MUCH different than they are today in fact.

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Of all the industries out there, weddings are really unique in the fact that there is no formal training, thus why there are so many vendors, price ranges, types, and styles of vendors out there.

Chances are when you meet with a professional, they most likely had training from a 3rd party instead of an accredited educational institution.

Carole & Joshua Gabrielson

Carole and Joshua are experienced professionals with more than 25 years in the industry, helping thousands of couples in the process.

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