10 things you should never do at weddings
As a wedding professional with more than 22 years under our belts, Carole and I have seen a lot of crazy things over the years with regards to weddings and what has taken place at them.
Well, today, we’d like to share with you 10 things that you should never do at a wedding, hopefully, you’ll be able to prevent anything like this from happening at your own wedding celebration.
Today’s blog is mostly meant for guests, so if you’re a couple getting married, share this with them.
Before we being, we did an online survey and asked 324 couples what their wedding guest did that annoying them the most, these were the top 10:
Couples Biggest Complaints about Guests
Get Engaged
One of the more common things that we’ve seen over the years is other couples stealing the joy of the day with their own engagement.
Sure, some couples don’t mind it and often times will ask the bride and groom long before the wedding day, what we are talking about it that spur of the moment stopping the reception in its tracks to get down on one knee.
If you think that’s something that going to happen, chat with that couple of days beforehand about the wedding day. You may or may not be okay with that, if you’re not, make sure they understand this is your day and not theirs.
The largest complaint we see is that brides get upset when this happens because it takes away from the day of the bride and groom.
Give a Drunk Speech
The next most common thing we tend to see is a drunk bridesmaid or groomsman getting up in front of a crowd to talk, only to find out that he or she is drunk and making a fool of themselves.
Slurring words, sometimes not making sense, you will want to make sure that any toasts or speeches are giving before anyone can get wasted or tell the people giving speeches to limit their booze before they give a speech.
Thay way, it will help make them not look so bad in front of family and friends, and trust me, they will thank you for it too should they get drunk early.
Get Too Drunk at the Reception
That leads us to our next point, getting wasted at the reception. Carole and I always see at least one person, usually younger college-aged groomsmen, by the first hour at the reception, they are just gone.
I remember I filmed a wedding at a popular Virginia Wedding Venue and one of the groomsmen had drunk an entire bottle of Old Forrester Bourbon within the first 45 minutes of people dancing. He was throwing up all over the floor and a couple of people had to remove him from the reception only for him to pass out and sleep most of the evening.
It was smelly, nasty, and just embarrassing for the bridal party too.
Sexy Grind/Strip Tease on the Dance Floor
If you’re at a wedding, you need to attend for the couple getting married not to try and pick up a one-night-stand. Believe it or not, this happens far more than people think and a tell-tell sign is a woman doing a striptease for some of the men on the dance floor.
If you do see that, tell your wedding planner so they can pull the guest aside and let them know that they need to tone it down at your family event-style wedding.
Change Your Reception Seat
Sometimes guests will ignore the seating chart and take seats that are meant for someone else.
I remember about 7 years ago I was filming a wedding at The Hotel Roanoke and a guest wanted to sit next to the bride’s cousin at the table.
Well, the seat that the guest and her plus-one sat in was meant for grandma and grandpa and they didn’t have a place to sit.
Needless to say, the bride came over and informed the couple they were in her grandparent’s seat and she specifically wanted the cousin to sit next to the grandparents on the wedding day because they were close.
Here’s the point, if you have an assigned seat, sit in that spot, not one that looks open or one that’s near a friend that you want to catch up with, you’ll have plenty of time for that later in the reception.
Wear Something Too Short and Too Tight
This is something I see at just about every single wedding, a good-looking single woman wearing a dress that looks like it belongs in a nightclub rather than a wedding reception.
While all the single men will be drooling over the girl in the short tight dress, it’s a wedding, and that’s simply not appropriate. The focal point should be the bride, not her friends from college or that one relative that likes to party all the time.
During many dance floor video clips, I’ve seen lots of inappropriate things I should have and they don’t make it in the videos, Carole has taken images that are less than pleasing in a Rated G photo album, so wear something cute and comfortable, not something to have a one-night-stand in.
Let the Kids Go Crazy
It’s great if you have kids at the reception, it’s another if you just let them alone and let them cry, kick and scream all night long.
Hey, I completely get it, raising a couple of kids in our home, there are times where kids get overly tired and act out, in fact, I’d expect the same thing to happen at a wedding day with those under 5.
So I recommend that you keep them entertained if possible with a kids table filled with activities for them to do, perhaps a TV with movies and the like. In fact, some couples offer a room for naps which is great for the littles ones that need an afternoon nap or just need to crash during the reception.
The other thing that your guests shouldn’t do is just let them run wild without tending to them. I’ve seen little kids on the dance floor having fun dancing one minute, then the next they’re crying on the floor because of exhaustion, just don’t leave them there, believe it or not, that happens far too often.
Just give children some grace on the wedding day and know that they are most likely tired from a full day on their schedule.
Have a Plus One when You're Not Supposed To
Ah yes, being sneaky by bringing a date or significant other to the wedding when you didn’t let someone know about it.
Yeah, that creates issues for the wedding planner and catering company many times because they don’t have enough seats nor enough food.
First, the planner will not have enough seating at the tables because of the additional guest, which also means finding another plate, silverware, napkins, and the like. If the catering company only has a list for 100 guests, they’re not going to bring 200 plates so everyone else can bring a plus-one too.
Not to mention, it will cost the couple more in food, wedding cake, and alcohol too.
If you are thinking about bringing a plus-one and the RSVP doesn’t include them, don’t do it.
The couple WILL find out and it’s going to make them upset, creating some grief with it, so just don’t do it unless you list them on the RSVP.
Bombard the Bride
Giving your congratulations to the happy couple is a wonderful thing and we encourage you to take 2-3 minutes and give them a hug, chat with them, and like at the reception but don’t bombard her.
In my career, I’ve seen a few instances where guests have literally been annoying the bride every step of the way, from telling her how beautiful everything is, to ask her if she is nervous just before she walks down the aisle.
You’ll want to give the bride a good amount of space throughout the day if you can. She’s going to be stressed that the day will need to go just right, focused on the ceremony and all the elements that go along with the day and the other people that are there as well.
Just make sure you give her good space during the day.
Complain About the Day (at least publically)
Maybe you don’t care for the venues, the wedding colors or you just think it’s too plain hot, don’t complain, at least not in front of the bridal party and other guests.
The truth is yes, it may be far too hot to sit in a chair and watch the ceremony, the food may suck, the DJ may not be great at what they do, perhaps the wedding dress is just ugly.
Additionally, the couple worked hard to pull everything together to make the day happen as best as possible, so you will want to make sure that you keep the negativity to a minimum while at the wedding or at least publically.
The last thing you need for the bride to break down and have a meltdown because you didn’t like the cocktail hour spread of food.
I remember this happening to me in the year 2000 at a wedding I filmed in the Eastern Part of Virginia. The bride had a ‘country rustic wedding with a barn as the backdrop.
One guest, in particular, was literally complaining the entire time about the weather and how hot it was, how the bride should have picked a better location, telling guests that the food tasted like it was from McDonald’s and the lady just complained about everything.
The bride went back to the bridal suite during the reception and just broke down because of the guest. the father of the bride was so mad that he confronted the lady and asked her to leave the wedding.
Needless to say, just don’t add more stress to the bride.
